Mindfulness and Mental Health

Mindfulness can be Simpler than It’s Made out to Be

A brief, internet search about mindfulness might bring you to a range of techniques and practices for embodying a mindful self. This is awesome. Many of these are extremely helpful practice in developing abilities that range from increasing focus to reducing stress. However, many of these (concentration, breathing, etc.) can feel very aimless without the right teacher. At least, for me this was true. Of course, this is fully an internal struggle of my own. Almost all resources I encountered make it very clear that the entire experience should be free of pressure to perform.

Still, though, it is honestly difficult to accomplish that. And because it is difficult, it is at least worth looking at what the goals of all of these practices are.

What you Stand to Gain

At its heart, mindfulness is your ability to draw your attention and focus to the present moment and everything that it affords you. If you are distracted with deadlines at work, financial strife, or conflict with a loved one, you are having a natural reaction to the stressors of life. Additionally, you might not be fully present in the moment.

Now, another natural reaction might be to read the previous paragraph and think that I am trying to convince you not to worry about fairly consequential things in your life. However, I can assure you that this is not the case. Of course you have matters to attend to that simply cannot be ignored. At the same time, there are undoubtedly moments that exist in between your opportunities to work toward solutions. In these moments, the question is how to tend to what is going on right then and there.

Maybe the situation in front of you is a really lovely one that warrants a little appreciation and gratitude. Those seem to be the moments that our loved ones insist we make an effort to live in. On the other hand, maybe the situation is a minor concern that still needs tending to. In either case, there is something of value happening in the current moment that makes your attention valuable there as well.

So ultimately, you stand to gain an increase in value on each moment of your time and attention.

How to Practice Mindfulness

I should take this moment to fully acknowledge the benefits of any other mindful practices you might find. They truly are fantastic. Again, though, this blog is meant to provide more easily accessible ways to get the ball rolling on mindful practices.

One thing to try is to notice when you are feeling preoccupied. This might sound easy. With some practice, it can be. However, noticing what you tend not to notice is a skill. One way to build this skill is to take note of when you miss some details in whatever you might be engaging with. For example, maybe you are watching a movie and can’t remember what happened in the last few minutes. Maybe you are reading and go over the same paragraph several times in a row without retaining anything. These are experiences that everybody has at some point, but noticing it is the first step.

Next, simply tell yourself that you notice when you notice. Even try saying it out loud. Obviously this might not hold all of the answers to mindful practices, but again, it is a start. Once you make a habit of noticing when you can’t seem to keep your attention in the present, the next step is to identify what feelings and emotions are tied to your distraction.

For example, you’ve just realized that your attention has been somewhere else for several minutes, and you’ve told yourself that’s what has happened. Great! Now ask yourself this:

“While my attention was elsewhere, what was I feeling? Was I sad, anxious, angry, agitated, upset, etc.?”

Of course, you can feel many emotions at the same time. Even so, identifying even one goes a long way. With a few repetitions, you might see some patterns. Maybe you are identifying the same emotion again and again. Maybe it’s a different one each time.

In either case, you have now begun the process of getting in touch with your moment-to-moment feelings. Whether you choose to begin unpacking all of them on your own or with the help of another person, you might have a little bit better of a grasp on what you are trying to address.

If you feel like you need some extra help, there is always someone to talk with.

Do you Procrastinate, or are you Internally Conflicted?

The Misconception of Procrastination

We’ve all had that experience where the end of the work day comes, and the whole world is there for us to take advantage of. We’ll go home and check off the next ten items on our to-do list. We’ll write the next chapter of that book we we have planned. We’ll call our friends for a game night. All we need to do is get out of these work clothes.

Only, we get home and push all of the rest of that aside to just do… nothing.

Often times, we hear this phenomenon get brushed off as procrastination. “You’re not a self-starter!” you might tell yourself. “You always do this.” Maybe you even hear such comments from someone else. In either case, the question of ‘why?’ has likely come up. Why is it that we can feel so motivated when we’re leaving work (a time we might think of as the most drained moment in our day), yet we feel it fade away by the time our evening commute is over.

One of the misconceptions about this is that you likely aren’t simply slipping into a passive state. This is not an instance where you recede into the background while life begins to rush by for a few hours. Instead, what has actually happened is that you have, indeed, made a very deliberate choice. This particular choice comes down to the fact that you experience that rush of motivation right after leaving work.

A Brief Analogy

Throughout the day, everyone expends energy. That seems obvious. After enough energy has been expended, you will need some amount of sleep to regenerate. At some point during the day, your body starts sending signals that it would be a good time to disengage and to get some sleep instead.

However, you probably still have things that need to be done before you can get that sleep. So you ignore those signals. In turn, your body takes measures to keep you going. You have a stress response that produces adrenaline. Now if you try to sleep, you likely feel to hyped up to calm down.

How this Applies to Procrastination

At the end of the work day, it makes sense that a few competing feelings run through you at the same time. On one hand, work has potentially worn you out. Whether you have a physically demanding job or a mind-numbing one, it becomes taxing to do it day after day. Therefore, there is a part of you that absolutely is somewhat exhausted and relieved to be away.

However, a different part of you is very excited to be done with work. This excitement fuels a drive to get other things done. Everyone has a running list of things that they have to tend to, and this is finally the opportunity in the day to accomplish as much of it as possible.

Then the commute comes. Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, there is a pause between the moment you walk out of the office and the first opportunity you have to engage in anything else. This pause opens the door for that exhausted part of you to take over. Once this happens, you act out of that desire to unplug a little bit. After all, you have to get up and do it all again tomorrow.

How to Overcome

Becoming aware of the different parts that pull you in different directions allows you to understand and connect with why you are engaging or disengaging when the opportunity arises to check off some to-do items. First, though, it is necessary to form a relationship with yourself and the different parts that have different motivations. This allows you to take a step back and bring your decision-making process to the forefront of your mind instead of allowing it to happen in the background.